


Crowds

by mismatched_ideas



Series: Starting Gun, Photo Finish [6]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Communication, Day 3, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Seungchuchu Week 2017, Social Anxiety, a bonus second entry for day 3, kind of, olympian AU, really I just wanted to write this then I thought I should give it a real day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 14:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11015586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mismatched_ideas/pseuds/mismatched_ideas
Summary: Phichit knew he wasn't exactly an expert when it came to anxiety, he just didn't experience it like Yuuri or Seung-gil, but he was getting better.





	Crowds

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help myself. I should be working on FW&RS but I just love writing Seungchuchu so much.

Phichit felt bad when he realized Seung-gil was nowhere to be found because, for as much as he didn’t know how long his boyfriend had been missing, he guessed it had been a while. Seung-gil didn't go to many parties and Phichit felt bad for leaving him alone, even if it had been Seung-gil who wandered off somewhere.

Phichit would have been happy to stay at Seung-gil’s apartment for the duration of his stay but that was what they’d done their first time together and Phichit was worried Seung-gil hadn’t been getting out much. 

The party was hosted by one of his teammates to welcome back one of the star members of the women’s archery team and Phichit had insisted they go even though Seung-gil seemed unusually resistant. Now he was nowhere to be found and Phichit just hoped he hadn’t left without him. He had no messages so he guessed he was still somewhere and so excused himself from the current conversation to search the relatively small apartment.

It didn’t take him long to find his boyfriend.

Seung-gil had found his way into the pantry, a large pantry for such a small apartment, and was currently crouched in the corner, holding onto his knees with shaky hands as he tried to breathe. 

“Seung-gil?” Phichit stayed by the door even as he closed it. “Can I come over?”

Seung-gil looked up, his face drawn. After a long moment, he nodded and Phichit came to crouch next to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Was his immediate response but he sighed quickly, speaking before Phichit could prod. “Sorry… It’s just hard to get used to talking about it…”

“It’s okay.” He started to reach out but remembered what he’d learned from Yuuri, “Can I touch you?”

“Yah…” Phichit scooted over so he could put an arm around Seung-gil. “I’m just a little overwhelmed today.” 

“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have forced you to go out.”

“You were just trying to help… It’s not as bad as it could be, I think I’ll be fine soon. I just needed some time away from the party.”

Phichit had a hard time understanding what Seung-gil needed when his social anxiety got bad but he’d been trying his best to learn. Yuuri had been all too happy to help him, giving him warnings and tips. Phichit wished he had more to offer than just half-understood words and soft touches but Yuuri assured him that was probably all Seung-gil would need. He'd also reminded Phichit that the best thing he could do was just ask Seung-gil how he could help. 

“Is there anything I can get you?”

Seung-gil shook his head, moving from his crouching position to sit on the floor. Phichit followed his example and Seung-gil hummed a little as he leaned further into Phichit’s embrace. His breathing still felt uneven and he was shaking but Phichit was relieved that this truly didn’t seem too bad. Of course, it helped to be here with Seung-gil. 

The first time Phichit had experienced Seung-gil’s social anxiety it had been over Skype. Seung-gil had picked up one of their regular calls and Phichit could immediately tell something was wrong simply because Seung-gil hadn’t been frowning. He usually had a frown on his face and sometimes he even smiled when their calls started but the look on his face that time had been neither of those. Instead, his eyes had been wide and his face an unhealthy pale. Even through the video, Phichit could tell he was sweating and shaking. It had been terrifying at first and then quickly became infuriating because Phichit felt so useless in the face of his boyfriend’s distress. He’d apparently had to go to a party because of a scholarship he received and he couldn’t leave for hours even though he’d been on edge from the moment he’d woken up. He’d held out until he left but on the subway ride home, he almost had a panic attack. When Phichit called he’d finally broken down completely and Phichit was left with no clue how to help.

After that, he promised himself he’d learn more so he could help his boyfriend better. 

“If you want to leave, we can. I’m not going to make you stay.”

“But you’re right.” Seung-gil’s voice shook, displaying more emotion than usual as he tried to regain control of his mind and emotions. And his breathing. “I need to make friends with these people. I don’t want a repeat of my life in Korea. 

“What if we talk it out?”

“What?”

“Talk out what you’re feeling right now.”

“I’m not sure I know.” Seung-gil closed his eyes. “It's just very crowded and I was already anxious about this party. I can’t explain why, but if I’m already anxious crowds tend to make it worse. And I end up feeling… tired. It has nothing to do with the people, really.” He sighed. “Do you have headphones?”

Phichit dug into his pocket, handing over the headphones. When Seung-gil plugged them into his phone, Phichit thought he saw relief take over his face. 

“I’m just going to listen to music for a little.” He explained, looking a little embarrassed. “It helps calm my anxiety.”

“Okay… I’m here for you.” Seung-gil nodded, putting in the earbuds as he scrolled through his music. “And if you were worried I’d think this was… silly, I don’t.”

“Some people find me isolating myself to be either rude or unhealthy.” His finger hovered over the play button, waiting for Phichit’s response before he started the music. “I was hoping toI could deal with this without giving you either of those impressions.”

“I don’t think you’re rude and I don’t know much about this but it doesn’t seem unhealthy.” Phichit smiled crookedly, kissing the top of Seung-gil’s head. “And I’m here for you, no matter what.”

There was a long moment of silence, the sound of the party outside just muffled and partially forgotten background noise. Finally, Seung-gil leaned farther into Phichit’s embrace and sighed.

“Thank you, for being there.”

“Don’t mention it.” He tightened his grip on Seung-gil, hoping the firmness would help. “And I’ll stay here with you as long as you need.”

Seung-gil nodded, putting on his music and reclosing his eyes. Phichit almost sighed in relief when he noticed Seung-gil’s breathing was evening out and that his hands were shaking significantly less. 

He had just been relieved that he hadn’t made things worse when Seung-gil first turned on his music so this was an extremely positive turn of events.

“I love you.” His words were a breath of air that Seung-gil would never hear over his music and the sound of the party but it still felt good to Phichit. He knew it wouldn’t be long before he could tell him straight out but for now, he liked the feeling of the whispered confession even if it wasn’t said to anyone in particular. 

Leaning against Seung-gil, Phichit found himself dozing off before he finally fell asleep to the quiet sound of music played just a little too loud from headphones and the muffled loudness of music played just a little too loud from speakers.

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus fic? Bonus fic. 
> 
> Lol I really need to stop projecting onto Seung-gil.... but yah, this is basically a recreation of an experience I've had (okay multiple experiences) getting suddenly overwhelmed in big crowds.


End file.
